I used to pride myself in looking much younger than my actual age. In my thrifty teens, I saved fifteen cents on a movie ticket on more than one occasion thanks to the elderly ticket taker charging me the Child price. And all through my twenties, I was mistaken for being in my late teens.
Unfortunately, the exact opposite has started to happen recently.
The thing is, the extent at which people are now over-estimating my age is growing alarmingly.
Only two years ago, when guessing my age in an ill-conceived game, a co-worker erred on the side of recklessness by adding ten years to my life.
Last fall when running for School Trustee, another candidate assumed that I was retired, adding at least ten more years, bringing the margin of error to over twenty.
A few months ago, my wife and I attended a movie after work. We had to meet at the theatre in order that we could both make it in time. I arrived first and bought our tickets, and because it was raining, I went inside to wait for her. I told the ticket taker that I was waiting for my wife to explain to him why I would be loitering near the door.
I wandered off to one side in order to get a better look at the advance poster for The Artist and heard the voice of the ticket taker behind me saying, “Your husband is over there.”
I turned to find that it was not my wife, but another woman who was meeting her husband. However, this woman was at least seventy-five years old. Boom! Another ten years.
And now, I have been given at least ten more on top of that. Yesterday, I was attending a Canada Day celebration at a seniors housing complex when a gentleman asked me if I was a resident.
I now appear to other humans as someone who lives in a community where eighty-five is on the low end of the age range.
I feel I must now avoid going to any funerals lest I be mistaken for the guest of honour.
But now the thought occurs to me that perhaps, in my thrifty forties, I can find a way to start taking advantage of Seniors discounts. I recently noticed with some surprise that some banks offer seniors rates to people fifty and over.
Perhaps I should try an experiment the next time I go to the movies. I’ll have to make sure I got to a young ticket taker, though. Those elderly fifty-year-olds that gave me an inadvertent break when I was in my teens will surely be onto me if I try to pass for one of them.